Whole-Person Wellness Blog: Navigating loss during times of joy
You’re not alone if the holidays feel heavy
Amid all the festive decorations and brightly wrapped gifts, it’s sometimes hard to talk about emotions that the holiday season can bring up. Many people feel sadness and grief, but they may not feel comfortable talking about it or even acknowledging how they feel.
I feel blessed to have learned about some of our colleagues’ journeys through grief. Here are two of their stories:
“I think it might be easier to list the ways losing my son didn’t affect me, rather than to tell you how it did. But the short answer is, grief changed my life and who I am as a person completely. It’s made me more empathetic, thoughtful and kind – but it’s also made me painfully aware of so many things. Through all of that, Cayden showed me a kind of love I thought was only for storybooks, and revealed strength I didn’t know I had.”
– Jillian Zaorski, a certified medical assistant
“On Sept. 8, 2024, my boyfriend and the love of my life, Robert “Bob” Doherty, lost his fight against Merkel cell carcinoma. He fought til the end. The hardest part was seeing this amazing, strong, tall man go through all this pain and not complain once. I was with him until he took his last breath with tears in his eyes. The experience will haunt me for the rest of my days.
The grieving process is a very personal thing, I have come to learn. My process has been really hard. I have too many questions that I will never get answers for. I almost can’t accept that he is no longer here, or that I will never hear his voice, see his smile, or feel his touch again.
Just know there is help out there. Therapy, the support of friends and family, and even the love of your pets help to ease the pain for a bit and forget for a minute that you are in so much pain. The pain might never go away but with help in place, it might become manageable.
I want to think God brought us together for a reason. The love we had was one of a kind – especially after everything I’ve been through in my life. He loved unconditionally and taught me what a good, healthy relationship looks like, and I will have his memory with me for the rest of my days. RIP Big Bob, my ‘honey bunches.’”
– Lida Kiefer, a certified medical assistant II
Finally, here is a poem written by Mirta Jaquez, a clinical administrative assistant, to close out this month’s blog and remind us of all the power of expression and the value of our mission-driven work. Thank you to all of this month’s contributors for being so brave, open, and vulnerable.
If We Don’t Live to Serve…
If we don’t live to serve,
Then what does the soul walk for
What makes the heart beat
if not the desire
to leave a trail of kindness
in every step of the day?
If we don’t live to serve,
life becomes an empty room,
a house without light,
a time without meaning.
For true worth
is not found in what we own,
but in what we give;
not in what we say,
but in how we lift
those who fell before us.
To serve is not to be less—
it is to become more.
To be hands when others tremble,
a bridge when others hesitate,
a light when someone loses their way.
If we don’t live to serve,
we are not ready to live at all.
Because the greatest life
is the one we share,
and the strongest heart
is the one that knows how to love
without limit.
— MJ
Thank you,
Allison LaRussa, BA, CPS, RYT
Associate Vice President of Health and Wellness
The Wright Centers for Community Health & Graduate Medical Education
